Friday, July 8, 2005

Welcome to!

I like the sound of that. As always, when it comes to the preservation of
our internet-based home, you'll have to thank Rus Jack for paying the rent.
Motherfucker knows the score, what can I say? I'm keeping this bitch for a
long, long time.

So, what's been happening to me? I'll tell you the whole story, but for now,
let's keep this wheel spinning in the general direction of what the fuck is
happening today. Today we have two comics for you: MG 96 and MG 97. I hope
you like both of them! MG 96 is sort of a continuation of the previous
comic, so maybe you'll find a bit of extra humor in that one. And can you
feel it, guys? Can you feel us inching closer and closer to MG 100? It's
going to be a magical moment, and I think I have something awesome planned
for all of us. But not yet. I must not unleash my monster just yet. The time
shall come soon. Very soon.

So what the fuck has been happening to the site? Well, again, I have more
news. We are receiving a ridiculous amount of hits per month, ranging in the
millions, and we'd like to thank you all for coming. You have no idea how
crazy this shit is for me, and you guys are making it THAT much better. I'd
fuck you all at the same time if it were only possible for my 40 inch dick.
And speaking of my dick:

I had kidney stones. Big bad ones too, and it sucked because when you piss
blood for the time you start to wonder if God exists. You start to think
that he is punishing you.

"I knew I shouldn't have gutted the midget in the last comic", you would
exclaim, as I did. You would sceam "Oh my fucking God!", and you would
continue "What is wrong with my dick?!"

So for this kidney stone, who's younger brother's and sister's I painfully
met in the toilet, I had to receive a surgery. I am not entirely sure of the
name of the surgery, although I do believe it's something along the lines of
Ureteroscopic Stone Removal. Either way, to put it simply, they stuck a big
long tube up my dick and into my kidney, blasted the motherfucker with a
lazer, sucked it out, and left a tube in there for me to be able to pee
"better", and drain fluids from the kidney. Which is, of course, called a

So for a week after, I had a string hanging out of my penis, a tube in my
body I could not see, and felt like I was pissing shards of glass and flesh
eating insects. The first night was a really, really bad night. Of course,
it seemed to have paled in comparisson to when the stent was removed.
Picture your intestines being ripped out through your penis, juices
squirting and all on the way out. It feels something like that, at least in
my experience.

Either way, I'm drinking a lot of water, Morning Glory is back, and all
other personal life issues seem to have resolved themselves. Shit has just
worked itself out, thank God.

Will Morning Glory be on a permanent schedule from now on. I would like to
say yes. I will be optimistic about my recovery, and say that problems
should be reduced greatly. As a result, comics should be just plain old
pouring in.

I think that should do it for this week. That's a very big news update as it
is. We'll see you again on Wednesday, guys.